Oford University Report

[lincoln]

Oxford University researchers have discovered the heaviest chemical element yet known to science - Governmentium (Symbol=Gv). This element has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (Symbol=Ad), an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons

[Devil]

Very, very, very good

[coggle123]

[Mr Patient]

Following the startling Oxford University report, scientists at Cambridge claim to have discovered huge ripples within the hitherto little noted “dark matter”, which numerically makes up most of the Universe, and is actually much larger than “governmentium”.
They believe a contributory factor may be the “unaccountable” amount of matter disappearing into a huge “black hole” called Brussellia in the constellation of Europia.
Meanwhile in Wisconsin in the USA scientists are anxiously recounting the particles of dark matter- which recently upset the balance of the system- and which have an opposite charge to “governmentium”.

[MikeHardman]

Nice one Lincoln!

A couple of additional points:

Ad retains the half-life of its Gv progenitor, and like all logarithmic half-life types of decay, it never stops completely. But there is a theoretical end-state element, when all morons and pillocks have been arranged in every possible combination (without finding one that has a net positive effect), called Adinfinitum (Ad...)

Gv is a daughter element of Europium (Eu), which has similar subatomic composition, but higher monetary momentum. Eu, while initially thought to be stable, has various states prone to decay. Recent observations suggest that decay may be promoted by the removal of bromine (Br), the reaction being Eu28 - Br1 = Eu27. The Br exit is one of several possible similar reactions. If several of them occur, there could be sufficient anti particles to trigger a chain reaction, leading to the annihilation of Eu. The fallout from such a reaction is unknown, but physicists believe the remnant subatomic particles are likely to clump together to form Brussels sprouts.

Mike

[lincoln]

I just love the replies. So well thought out and well balanced. Keep em coming.

[Firefly]

Brilliant, love it.

Jackie