CyprusLiving

Now the Olympics have finished, just a few jokes to bring a smile to your faces.

Golden gags

A reporter meets a man carrying an eight-foot-long metal stick and asks, “Are you a pole vaulter?” “No,” says the man, “I’m German. But how did you know my name is Walter?

Why isn't suntanning an Olympic sport? Because the best you can ever get is bronze.

A gymnast walks into a bar ... He gets a two-point deduction and ruins his chances of a medal.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get into the Olympics but they haven't got tickets. The Scotsman picks up a manhole-cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate. "McTavish, Scotland" he says, "Discus", and in he walks. The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder. "Waddington-Smythe, England," he says, "Pole vault," and in he walks. The Irishman looks around, picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland," he says, "Fencing."

How is playing the bagpipes like throwing a javelin blindfolded? You don’t have to be very good to get people’s attention.

One liners -

Why is tennis such a hateful sport? Nobody wants to have love.

Old Olympic skiers never die. They just go downhill.

All this hard work just Farah medal?